AOL: Ads On Line

As you may have noticed from the brevity of my entries, I'm not one to waste words. There isn't a lot of extra time in my life or, I imagine, yours. So I won't spend any of it lamenting the new AOL banner ads placed on the private journals of paying members. Yes, it's insulting, infuriating and abusive. But it's not personal. It's just business.

Most likely, someone whose job it is to generate advertising revenue for Time Warner shareholders noticed there were a few thousand pages -- AKA personal journals -- out here with income potential, and they went for it.

It's also likely that the resulting income from the advertisers is much, much more than whatever we're paying for membership. Membership income is steadily declining. (Go figure.) Membership is the old, failing business model. Advertising is the present and the future of the company; advertisers keep the paychecks coming.

So if you were an AOL exec, whose interests would you serve?

If there is anything that might get the ads off -- and I sincerely doubt there is -- it would be to persuade the advertisers to request that their ads not run on AOL private journals. If you care enough to try, the best way is to contact the advertisers directly. Trust me, they are not reading your journals, so venting or retaliating there is not effective by itself. (Many of us have already figured this out: See Tilting at Windmills.)

Don't bother calling customer service. Write the PR and marketing department executives. Some companies list them in their annual reports, others you can probably find at Hoover's. Failing that, try the feedback links on their Web sites.

When you write, express yourself in a professional, civil tone. Explain why this is bad business for them, not how it affects you personally. Quote negative comments from journals, include URLs to bad buzz on their companies resulting from these ads. Don't bother with screen shots or attachments. Most companies won't open them. Ask for a response.

Then weigh your options:

1. Wait to see what happens

2. Settle down and suck it up

3. Start over somewhere else

Pick one.

If you do move on, be sure to spread the word and post your new URL: The Great Exodus. As long as we can find each other, we'll be OK. A community is people, not an ISP. It's not a business. It's personal.

Name that species

According to the August 2005 issue of Discover magazine, scientists Quentin Wheeler and Kelly Miller recently found 65 brand spankin' new species of slime-mold beetles to name. So Wheeler named one each for George Bush, Dick Cheney, and Donald Rumsfeld. Wheeler says he meant it as a compliment, and he says Bush took it that way. Make of that what you will. 

Sometimes old is good

Computers are great. But what I really love is the tactile pleasure of "real" writing -- you know, the kind that arrives like magic in a fine, steady line spun out by hand. The kind where there is no backspace, no void to swallow errors or to censor the first rush of meaning. For that, you need a great pen -- or, for the real purist, a pencil.

If you know what I mean, you'll love this blog: Pencil Revolution.

For a good time...

Check out Bon and Mal over at The Diatom Project. They're actually generating their own games over there, and dandy good 'uns they are. Nice folks, great fun. If you haven't met them yet, stop in for a visit, OK? You're in for a treat.

:)

Coool :)

Here's another neat new chain reaction thingy for you: Gridgame. I started one that went to 1,074. I have no idea how I did it, but it was a lot of instant gratification for almost no effort, which is my favorite sort of activity. Enjoy.

 

The trouble with zucchini

In response to the previous post, Gdireneoe asks, "BTW ... What's wrong with zucchini?"

There's nothing wrong with zucchini, per se. If you don't bother them, they won't bother you. Things get ugly when people try raising them in captivity.

Zucchini is the kudzu of the veggie patch, the fruitcake gift of summer. Pop a few innocent-looking seeds in the ground, and the next thing you know you're up to your wazoo in squash. You can't even foist them off on the neighbors unless you sweeten the deal with some decent corn, or maybe a watermellon.

In fact, August 8 is Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbors Porch Day. If you've been spared so far, count yourself lucky.

What am I bid?

I ran into this little doodad today at both TUTT'A POSTO and Journally Yours: 

Business Opportunities Weblog | How Much Is My Blog Worth

So I typed in my URL, expecting to discover I'm worth about 59 cents and a bag of zucchini. Imagine my surprise:

My blog is worth $1,693.62.
How much is your blog worth?

$1693.62?? Get outta town.

OK, it's pathetic by J-Land standards, but I'll take it. It beats zucchini.

Weekend Assignment #84

Author Scalzi Googles Himself One Time Too Many

Noted science fiction author and America Online blogfather John Scalzi made history Monday, October 31 when he accidentally created an entirely new life form he is calling "an e-male."

In the week prior to the event, Scalzi recruited thousands of fans and friends to enter his name into a Google search at the stroke of midnight on Halloween, "just for the pure hell of it, to see what would happen." The stunning and entirely unexpected result was the spontaneous generation of a being named "Scoogle," who appears to be a badly distorted version of Scalzi himself.

Scientists are at a loss to explain the effect, but physicist Janus Looming of Los Alamos Labs says, "It may be akin to the apparition that occurs when teenagers chant 'Bloody Mary' into mirrors. Only bigger. Much bigger."

Centers for Disease Control spokesperson Gloria Shrub cautions that uncontrolled generation of e-males may threaten the public well-being, and says the CDC is pushing for a moratorium on their creation until sufficient controls can be put in place.

The Scalzi family will retain custody of Scoogle until the legal ramifications can be sorted out. "He's not evil," says Scalzi, "but feeding him is costing me a fortune. The only thing he'll eat is Spam."

 

And speaking of toys...

Yet another tool for effective procrastination: Towers of Hanoi.

There are a lot of these on the Web, but I like this one. It works smoothly, has a Help button -- which you're going to appreciate once you get over eight rings or so -- and besides, the colors are pretty. (Yes, I'm easy. Sue me.)

Psssssst....

Looking for something different for Christmas? Try the AirZooka. It looks like a simple air gun -- and it's harmless -- but the sensation of getting blasted with one of these things is completely bizarre. Tons o' fun for blaster and blastee alike. There's a lot of complex science behind it, in case you care. I just enjoy the weirdness.

It's weeks until Santa makes his big run, but these things seem to sell out fast. So if you're interested, better get one now.

Update on I bonds

This just in from the Treasury: Bureau of the Public Debt : I BONDS TO EARN 6.73% WHEN BOUGHT FROM NOVEMBER 2005 THROUGH APRIL 2006

The fixed rate went down from 1.2 to 1 -- not up as some had hoped, but not down to .5 as others feared. Just thought y'all might like to know.

 

Poem for fall

When the world has spun itself out
and vanished
When men are no more
nor time, nor space
Surely God will stir
in the infinite deep
remember autumn
and begin again

Welcome to Wal-Mart...

Just in time to accompany news of Wal-Mart's proposal to cut its already meager employee benefits comes a new Jib-Jab video, Big Box Mart. Enjoy.

Bonds. I Bonds.

Behold the lowly I Bond: Yields soon to be around 7%, tax advantaged, and as close to no-risk as it gets. Not bad, not bad at all. Check 'em out:

USATODAY.com - Savings Bonds: Should you buy now or later?

Whether you buy I Bonds before Nov. 1 or after, you'll get a rate that beats other conservative investments, such as certificates of deposit and money market funds.

When you buy Savings Bonds, you're required to hold them for a minimum of 12 months, so don't buy one if you think you'll need the money before then. If you cash them in before you've held them five years, you'll forfeit three months of interest.

But at current rates, investors who sell I Bonds after a year and take the penalty will still earn more than they can get on most other low-risk investments, Pederson says.

Just another manic Sunday

I just realized this: It's Sunday, and everyone in the family is working. Hubby's doing spreadsheets in his office, I'm studying tax law in mine, elder son is teaching ground school at the flight center, and younger son is doing homework. What's more, this is pretty much par for our weekends now.

Does anybody actually get a day of rest anymore?

Step away from the computer...

This is it, people: peak foliage time! Check out your local best bets at Fall Foliage, get out there, and drink it all in. Quick, now ... "nothing gold can stay."

Puzzle lovers unite

This site has been around for quite a while, but in case you've missed it, check out Jigzone.com. Select your puzzle, decide how hard you want to work to solve the thing, and have at it. It's every bit as addictive as solitaire, and just as mindless. Perfect for weekend downtime.

About Bob...

Wife is sitting all alone in the kitchen, mad as hell, pacing the floor, trying to keep dinner warm. Hubby was supposed to be back from golfing hours ago, and he hasn't shown up or even called. Finally, Hubby drags himself through the door, rumpled, dirty and totally exhausted. Wife takes one look at him and forgets all about dinner.

Wife: "What's happened? Are you OK?

Hubby: "I am, but it's been one hell of a day. On the third hole, a freak storm blew up. Lightning came out of nowhere and ... well, it hit Bob. He's dead.

Wife, horrified: "Oh no! That must have been horrible!"

Hubby: "It was. All day long, it was hit the ball, drag Bob ... hit the ball, drag Bob ... "

The Hindenburg Omen

As if we weren't clutching our bucks to our breasts tightly enough these days, along comes Mark Hulbert at MarketWatch with this little gem:

Watch Out for the Hindenburg Omen
ANNANDALE, Va. (MarketWatch) -- According to a little-known technical indicator known as the Hindenburg Omen, the risk of a stock market crash right now is high.

Should we pay any attention to this indicator?

"Yes" is the answer from quite a few of the investment newsletters I monitor. Indeed, in recent days so many advisers have referred to the warnings that the indicator is emitting that investing blogs are all abuzz.

And, naturally, more than a few of you emailed me to ask that I devote a column to it.

Let me start by reviewing the Hindenburg Omen. The core idea behind it is that it's bearish whenever there are a large number of both new 52-weeks highs and new 52-week lows on the New York Stock Exchange... click to read on.

Bottom line, proponents of the indicator think our portfolios are about to crash and burn.

Oh, the humanity.

First day of work

Hey, guys, thanks for the luck! It seems to have stuck. Either this is a great place to work or they buy their Kool-aid in industrial drums, because everyone I met is insanely happy to be there. This position could prove to be a Very Good Thing.

:)