Thursday, May 20, 2004

Bastards!

The Yankees are dumping Cracker Jacks. Their COO Lonn Trost--the yutz--says, "Cracker Jack is just a brand name. We're selling a caramel crunch that's the same thing." Can you believe it? The same thing? I guess the Yankees and the Mets are the same freakin' thing too. After all, they're both BASEBALL TEAMS, right?

Jesus T. Christ. I never got over metal bats, and now this. A hit should go "Crack!" not "tink." Peanuts go with CRACKER JACKS. And while we're at it, I don't want to see Spiderman ads on the bases.

This is not pingpong, people. This is not synchronized swimming. This is baseball, and in baseball you do not mess with tradition. Let me hear you say Amen, brothers and sisters. Let me ya say AMEN.

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