Weekend Assignment #84

Author Scalzi Googles Himself One Time Too Many

Noted science fiction author and America Online blogfather John Scalzi made history Monday, October 31 when he accidentally created an entirely new life form he is calling "an e-male."

In the week prior to the event, Scalzi recruited thousands of fans and friends to enter his name into a Google search at the stroke of midnight on Halloween, "just for the pure hell of it, to see what would happen." The stunning and entirely unexpected result was the spontaneous generation of a being named "Scoogle," who appears to be a badly distorted version of Scalzi himself.

Scientists are at a loss to explain the effect, but physicist Janus Looming of Los Alamos Labs says, "It may be akin to the apparition that occurs when teenagers chant 'Bloody Mary' into mirrors. Only bigger. Much bigger."

Centers for Disease Control spokesperson Gloria Shrub cautions that uncontrolled generation of e-males may threaten the public well-being, and says the CDC is pushing for a moratorium on their creation until sufficient controls can be put in place.

The Scalzi family will retain custody of Scoogle until the legal ramifications can be sorted out. "He's not evil," says Scalzi, "but feeding him is costing me a fortune. The only thing he'll eat is Spam."