Estrogen's lament

Five days ago I stopped taking hormone replacement therapy. Things are getting ugly.

I was on it for about ten years, and everything was going fine. But my gyno moved out of town, and now it's a trek through traffic to get there. Added to that, she's not in my insurance plan, so seeing her for an annual is several hundred bucks I don't really want to spend. And anyway, all the news about HRT is about how it's going to kill me. So, when the last prescription ran out I just gave it up.

For the first few days, nothing happened. I thought I was home free, that all this menopause nonsense was behind me. Then the hot flashes kicked in, followed closely by night sweats, insomnia, and the urge to smack people who annoy me. (OK, OK that urge was already there. But now I can barely control it.) I'm bursting into tears for no reason, which is really hard to explain to astonished onlookers. I'm taking some nice gentle herbals, but they're no match for the slavering demons that have possessed my body.

Here's the kicker: I have a big business deal next month, and I'm terrified that I'll break out in a flopsweat--or worse, tears--during a tense meeting. That would be the stony end, my friend, I guarantee it. I'm thinking I need to just suck up the expense and risk and get those damn patches back. Being female really bites sometimes.

And yes, I know this entry isn't entertaining you. Tough luck, bubba.